A Christian Woman’s Guide to Breaking Free From Pornography – W.T.F?

Okay, this is an all out rant. I can’t help myself. I don’t like attacking people for no reason, but when I feel like I DO have a reason, then all hell breaks loose.

So I opened up my Google+ account today, and the first thing that I see is a post for a new book entitled “A Christian Woman’s Guide to Breaking Free From Pornography: It’s not Just a Guy’s Problem.”

Overcome by sarcastic curiosity, I absolutely had to click it and check out the website.

First, before we continue with this very opinionated post, I would like to add a disclaimer: I HAVE NOT actually read this book.

I did, however, download the free sample offered on the website. I must say that glancing at the table of contents turned me off quite a bit. I struggled to make my way through the introduction, but couldn’t bring myself to finish even that much.

Okay, so here we go. I’m going to run down my list of very big personal issues I have with this entire concept, in no particular order.

Porn is Free, The Cure Will Cost You

Most porn on the internet is free, but curing yourself of your online porn addiction will cost you $3.99!

This is all that the authors of this book are going to charge their fellow Christian women who are “suffering from an addiction.” Seems pretty reasonable to me.

$3.99 is a nominal fee for getting God’s help on something like porn addiction, after all.

Strategically Priced

What pisses me off the most is how strategic the authors were in pricing this book on Amazon. Think they pulled the $3.99 price point out of their asses? Or maybe consulted with God on how much they should charge to do his job here?

Think again.

$3.99 is the minimum price required by Amazon for eligibility into their 70% royalty program for authors. That means that these people weren’t willing to settle for the 35% profit they would have made per book sale, had they priced it lower than this.

Claiming High Demand Doesn’t Add Up

Taking the last point a step further, the book claims that porn addiction is a widespread problem among the female Christian demographic. But if that’s really true, wouldn’t they expect to sell tons of copies? Wouldn’t it at least seem a likely possibility?

If they had expected tons of sales, I don’t see why they couldn’t have priced it at ninety-nine cents and taken the lower royalty percentage since they could bank on the fact that the book would sell in bulk.

I call bull shit again.

Where Are The Proceeds Going, Exactly?

Given the sensitive nature of this book’s subject matter, I would be very interested in where the profits are going on this product. Is the publisher/author donating the proceeds to the church, I hope?

I doubt it. My guess is the dollars are going straight into their pocket, which makes me slightly sick to my stomach.

Does Not Distinguish Normal Behavior From Addiction

Again, I haven’t read most of this book. However, from what little I did read and from scanning the table of contents, it does not seem to address one of the most important issues related to this entire topic.

As far as I can tell, it does not offer ANY sort of qualifying information to help the reader determine whether or not their consumption of pornography is in fact normal behavior, or if they are exhibiting the traits of a person suffering from an actual, legitimate addiction to said pornography.

Isn’t this, uh, like…KIND OF IMPORTANT?

Forgive me if I’m alone on this one, but I’d like to give the authors the benefit of the doubt here and assume that they are not trying to say that all viewing of porn can be explained by stating that the viewer suffers from an ailment, for fuck’s sake.

Isn’t This God’s Job, Not Yours?

And to wrap this up, my final issue with this entire concept is the fact that really at the end of the day, all these capitalist Christians are doing is chopping up the Bible and spewing out arbitrary quotations from what they claim is an already perfect text.

Why are they qualified to do this?

Is this something that God is even fucking cool with, honestly? Something tells me that the Bible was meant to speak for itself, and these people were not invited to reiterate it according to their own agenda.

But what do I know?

What do you guys think of all this absurdity? Share your reactions in the comments.




8 thoughts on “A Christian Woman’s Guide to Breaking Free From Pornography – W.T.F?”

  1. Porn is free and the cure will cost you. Haha, religion is pretty much that way, they first create the problem for you by creating an inefficient world, and then once they get you to end up in a mess, you have to invest lots of energy in praying the way that they tell you to and to make donations to them to atone for your sin.

    Well Ashly, what are your thoughts about handling porn in our society?


  2. Hi, Ashly. Your writing always provokes my thinking at otherwise more shallow depth. I took a deep dive on this subject because 1. You wrote it and it was notably a topic that moved you to write about it; 2. It is a generally interesting relevant topic to me, personally, as I am a. A woman b. A student of addiction psychology; c. A porn consumer; and last, but not least c. A believer in Christ, and therefore, Christian, though my disdain for the main stream representation of my faith is legion. Not unlike the name delivered to Christ when expelling the demons that launched a gaggle of wild pigs off a cliff. “we are Legion” is a pretty accurate description, I often think, of modern Christian church members of the born-again variety.

    Which provides segue to my first point. Unlike a rose, a Christian is not a Christian, is not a Christian, is not a Christian. It is annoying, I will confess, to observe or be subject to the belief that anyone affixing the word Christian to themselves or a thing (as in that thing is either “Christian or un.Christian like”) are the same. At all. This is not even remotely true. Aside from an agreement that a man named Jesus, proclaimed as the “Christ” of Hebrew faith, existed a couple thousand years ago and was hung on a cross to die–that is about where the definition diverges and each goes their separate way.

    With this in mind, I speculate that your reaction is primarily triggered by the Christian affiliation rather than the topic, per se. Since our born-again types have a tendency to rail against other human beings (instead of sticking to a condemnation of a specific behavior or condition), anyone having the misfortune to experience the trip down moron lane will understandably cast a hairy eyeball on whatever another self-described Christian claims to be true. Their banked reserve of credibility returns as NSF when making a claim of legitimate authority. I get that. But, you need to get over it. I do, too. Why? Because closing our minds completely results in knee-jerk reactions devoid of intelligent contemplation. That’s what is projected by the way by all the pompous ass monkeys out there putting people down because they are Democrats, gay, Jewish, Black, have a different perspective, on ad infinitum (because, to paraphrase Einstein, the stupidity of people is no less infinite than the vastness of the Universe.). If we stubbornly refuse willingness to concede that truth sometimes likes to travel by way of Most Resisted, it doesn’t absolve us from being accountable to what we refuse to consider AND it reeks of the ignorance we like to think ourselves far above. Sometimes we learn an important truth exists among the heaps of garbage strewn about by those we hold in absolute contempt. I hate recognizing the speck truth I glimpse within a mostly unfair assessment of me or my beliefs. Hate, hate, hate that.

    So, where am I going with this. . .I read the first chapter, as you did. I read the publisher’s description, the Amazon reviews and followed up with reading the references sourced. Then, I read it, again. Carefully.

    My understanding is that the author is being reasonable in her characterization relevant to her core assumed beliefs (which is really all any one of us can do). She does use an addiction framework that suggests a progressive use of pornography leading to a progressively unmanageable problem she experienced as “addiction”. She has nothing to say in condemnation of non-Christian viewing of pornography, general blanket statements railing against the amorality of the sex industry or an apparent unspoken agenda unrelated to her personal struggle, as a Christian based woman, with her experience of overcoming an unmanageable obsession and compulsion with pornography. Substitute whatever you want, and I think the objective remains sound in its intent.

    Her intent as far as pricing is none of our business, really. We can only speculate, but regardless, it is inconsequential of the fact that the author describes herself as Christian. We are all, every one of us, Christian faithed people included, entitled (and ENTITLED is a special reserve term that I use next to never–remember my monologue on that subject while we were in Arcata?) to execute our free will, basing our actions and convictions on the core beliefs and consequent assumptions, reasoning and frame of reference that we choose. We may not agree, appreciate or acknowledge the validity of someone else’s choice, but that’s immaterial to the fact that there is no other alternative than to either commit to keeping an open mind towards discovering an offer of truth where we least want to OR we deny ourselves the benefit of ever being anything but ignorant hypocrites.

    As long as everyone keeps their hands on the table where we can see them as we all search for truth, I think its a fair game. Read the excerpt again. Carefully. Then, let’s compare notes..

    1. I typically don’t type that many words during a “slow” day at the keyboard, actually. Obviously you have some personal interest in the book or the topic, as you give no reasons why my assessment of it is, in your words, “pure garbage.” I don’t think I was attempting to give a logical argument against the ridiculous book. Is addiction logical? I think not. Is publishing some pretentious bull shit that claims to help women free themselves from watching porn logical? Now THAT is laughable. I think I’m going to go watch a hardcore anal gang bang that ends in ten guys blowing their loads all over some chicks’s face and I’ll think about you when I get off. How does that sound?

  3. *There are definitely lots of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the 1 you bring up where the most crucial thing is going to be working in honest very good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around issues like that, but I am certain that your job is clearly identified as a fair game. Both boys and girls feel the impact of just a moment’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

  4. Someone should start a Christians who are addicted to porn dating site. I swore not to talk about it but have you ever been to Celebrate Recovery? It’s weird.

    1. Wow, what a fucking awesome idea. Seriously. No, never heard of Celebrate Recovery. lol But yeah, maybe we should collaborate and make that dating site some time. 😉

  5. Your comments regarding this book sadden me. I have a daughter who was terribly affected by porn. She started in 4th grade and it cont. until 10th grade. It messed up her up physically, spiritually and mentally. Imagine your daughter cutting, purging, lying, being molested, suicidal, a drug user, sleeping with the drug user, hatred of self by writing names of hate on her stomach, mental health hospitals, CPS, police involvement, expelled from school. This is horrific for a parent to go through and this is exactly what I had to go through. We had our daughter get every type of help you can imagine – Counselors, medicals professionals, meds, changing of schools. I say all this because Porn harms. When you love your child you will read any book that comes your way. Porn is not normal – look what it did to my child. I hope just by reading this that maybe you can see this issue in a different light.

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