About

Hey there, my name is Ashly.

This is my blog. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 😉

I’m a loud, mouthy broad with strong fucking opinions and I use foul language often enough to offend even the most reasonable of people.

Consider yourself warned.

I am rapidly approaching the awful, dreaded age of 30 and not really looking forward to it much, honestly.

The truth is, I completely suck at adulting.

No, I really do. You don’t get it.

I’m spontaneous, I live 100% in the moment and I’ve never understood people who try to plan out their lives or set “goals.”

I guess the things I have wanted historically haven’t been very specific or concrete, if you will.

I’m a lot of different things that are likely to shock or upset you.

Let’s get the most significant of those things out of the way now, shall we?

I have sold sex for money for over a decade.

You can decide what to call me knowing that.

Whore. Prostitute. Sex Worker.

I don’t have a preference.

I have been using (or abusing, most would argue) methamphetamine for at least that long as well, pretty much on a daily basis.

Again, label me accordingly.

Meth head. Junkie. Addict.

I’m fine with any of those too.

I don’t have any children, nor have I ever wanted any.

I personally believe that breeding is NOT a right, but rather a responsibility in a “civilized” society and therefore should require applying for a license and proof of financial and emotional (as well as perhaps genetic) viability.

And while I see absolutely no good reason whatsoever for bringing another human life into this lame fuck world, I do adore dogs above all other forms of life on this planet.

If you are a “cat person,” I don’t understand you and I frankly don’t want to.
The closest thing I have to a son is Bub, who has been with me for the past nine years.

That’s my handsome boy seen below, obviously.

 

Bub and I live in the Hipster capital of the Pacific Northwest.

Also known as Portland, Oregon.

Where marijuana is finally fucking legal, but you can’t smoke a goddamn cigarette outdoors in open air at a bus stop.

And while in some ways I am certainly a lot like most other West Coast Liberal whack jobs, I’d like to make it clear that I did NOT move to Portland from California.

On the contrary, I’ve lived in this thoroughly Democratic state my entire little life.

I tend to view capitalism as the kind of invitation to greed that mankind doesn’t have the discipline or compassion to resist.

I’m fiercely pro-choice and hope I live to see a day when sex work is fully decriminalized and hard street drugs are legal for personal use.

Yeah, I know…but a girl can dream, right?

In fact, I’ll take it a step further and admit that I secretly fantasize about somehow managing to be the Martin Luther King Jr. of what will become known as the Addicts Rights Movement.

Although currently, I’m much closer to being a female version of Jesse Pinkman so I probably shouldn’t get too far ahead of myself.

I’m somewhat of a word nerd.

I love word play, writing gay poetry and hand writing long lists of arbitrary words for fun.

So it should come as no surprise to you that I enjoy playing Scrabble as well, both on and offline.

Someday playing in a sanctioned Scrabble tournament has long been one of my wettest dreams. Someday.

I value Justice over Mercy and I love a good revenge story.

Movies should either make you cry uncontrollably or make you wish you could do really cool shit that you can’t.

If they can manage to pull off doing both, that’s even better.

And no matter what anyone ever tries to tell you in life, a girl is NEVER too old to watch Disney movies.

I also like to pretend that I can sing better than I actually can and enjoy doing so whenever I have the house to myself every once in a while.

Rarely do I manage to record anything worth listening to twice, much less adding to my small folder of saved songs.

I do, however, seem to do a fairly decent job of singing shitty emo music that requires mediocre talent.

Think Hoobastank and fucking Simple Plan.

It may be better not to make any noise at all in that case, wouldn’t you agree?

Now that I’ve made it obvious how much I enjoy talking about myself, I’m going to take this opportunity to shut the fuck up while I’m still under 1,000 words.