Stop Feeling Ashamed and Let it Go

So, before we get started a word of advice to any poor souls that have somehow managed to avoid seeing Disney’s Frozen thus far: GO WATCH IT NOW!

And by advice, I mean it is a non-negotiable requirement that you go watch it immediately.

Stop reading this and go watch the fucking movie or I can’t be friends with you anymore, I’m sorry.

I like you. I want us to be friends.

So please go watch it and you can thank me later.

Okay, now that we got that out of the way…

Why Elsa is Awesome

let it go

Okay, so I get it that Anna is an important character in this story too and everything because she’s all supportive of her sister and willing to help or whatever.

Side note to anyone not familiar with the real world: this usually doesn’t happen.

Most of the time, you won’t have the support of family or friends when it comes to being the person you truly want to be. If you DO, consider yourself very lucky.

However, most of us will not have an Anna or her calm understanding and acceptance of whatever sets us apart from other people in general. So it’s best not to plan for it.

But in my opinion, Elsa is the interesting and significant one in this fairy tale.

Right from birth, she is not like other people because she has magical powers that she struggles to conceal and control until all hell freezes over.

😉

Concerned about the potential dangers associated with having said powers, her parents encourage her to hide the magic and try to help her get a handle on things so she doesn’t accidentally start the next ice age.

But what I love about Elsa is that she represents everyone who is somehow different than those around them.

The ice magic is just a symbolic place holder for any label describing a marginalized group of people.

Maybe it’s her sexuality. Or a drug addiction. Her chosen lifestyle.

Doesn’t matter. It is all of these things and more.

What matters here is that there is something about her that others fear, fail to understand and shun because it is unfamiliar.

No Victims Here

Also important to note is that Elsa is NOT a victim in this story.

She isn’t some perfect saint that is being persecuted for no good reason by a kingdom full of lunatics.

On the contrary, her powers prove greater than even she had ever realized and the consequences are drastic.

She doesn’t know how to fully control the magical powers that seem so strongly bound to her volatile emotions.

Sometimes she accomplishes what she wants with them, but at others she is at their mercy and along for the ride.

When Anna visits her in the ice castle and tries to reassure her that everything will be okay and offers her support, Elsa tells her to go away and stay away for her own safety.

More than once, she accidentally allows her emotions to overcome her and the resulting magic puts her sister in danger.

She’s not a saint, nor is she perfect.

She is more complicated than most fairy tale heroins and even most villains too.

Let it Go is Fucking Epic

 

And I do mean E.P.I.C.

If you thought Ariel made you want to be Part of That World, think again.

If Cinderella thought she had schooled you on how A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, she’ll be beating herself like a red-headed stepsister here soon.

If you don’t believe me, you can even ask Pocahontas if all those Colors of the Wind are still looking as bright and bold?

 

This song is pure self-empowerment and requires a lung capacity I will never fucking have, sadly.

It’s about celebrating yourself and accepting who you are.

It’s also about saying “fuck off” to everyone who doesn’t “get you.”

It’s about coming to appreciate and enjoy your solitude.

It’s about reinventing yourself, starting over from scratch.

Just fucking listen to the damn song and for fuck’s sake, watch the fucking movie please before I have to break up with you forever.

 

Advice for Addicts and Intravenous Drug Users

Drugs suck more than anything else IOkay, so I want to address two important things before I start spouting off with advice for addicts and intravenous drug users.

A Note to All Non-Addicts

The first important issue to address is actually for the readers who are not addicts, which I’m assuming is the “moral majority” here.

For non-addict readers, the first pissed off question that immediately demands to be answered is:

“Hey, wait a minute…are you encouraging drug addicts to keep using?!”

The answer to that is no, and the question is pretty stupid.

Sorry, I know they say there are no stupid questions, but these are probably the same people that filled your head with illusions of being whatever you wanted when you grow up too, so take it with a grain of salt.

Please note that this is not titled something like:

“10 Reasons Why You Should Start Shooting Meth Today!”

Which, in my opinion, would be encouraging people (addicts or not) to use drugs.

That’s certainly not my intention, nor do I see how it could be interpreted that way.

In fact, this is really not for people who don’t need the information.

So, that means I’m writing it for the people who are already choosing to engage in these behaviors. It honestly offers no value to people who don’t already do this type of thing.

A Note to All Addicts

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I want to address something more relevant to the addict readers.

I’ll warn you, this is a sad confession and will probably depress the hell out of you (I know it does me) and if you have a sense of humor, might make you chuckle over the irony and sarcasm that comes with it.

So, here’s the unfortunate truth: if you actually need the tips and advice in this list, you are wasting your time reading this because you will not listen to any of them.

Man, doesn’t that just fucking suck?

Yeah, and the reason you won’t follow the advice of someone who has been there (myself, in this case) is because you are an addict.

Okay, now for something even worse…I haven’t followed any of my own advice either, for the most part.

Veins Are Not Forever

Veins don’t always last forever, so fucking take care of them if you want to keep getting high.

This is a huge one.

Just wait until you mess up your usual veins so bad that you can’t use them one day all of a sudden, after getting used to shooting up regularly.

Then you’ll know what I’m taking about and how much that sucks.

My advice is this: take care of your shit.

Veins will heal, but only if you let them.

That means leaving them the fuck alone and actually letting them heal, instead of continuing to tear them up with relentless poking and dozens of failed attempts.

You’re only fucking yourself in the ass in the long run by doing this.

Of course, I’m one to talk. I’m probably the worst when it comes to all that, so don’t think badly of yourself if you have trouble listening to this one.

Have Basic Respect for Other Addicts

Don’t judge any other addict who has done something for the sake of getting high, UNTIL you are in the exact same situation and have taken a different course of action that you deem better somehow.

It’s real easy to say something like:

“Oh my god, did you hear that so and so robbed a convenience store, took the money and bought an ounce of dope? I can’t believe that, how terrible! I would never do something like that!”

when you haven’t lost your job yet, or your parents are still taking care of your lame ass.

You don’t know what factors help decide a person’s course of action, nor have you been forced to choose one under the same circumstances.

So if your buddy who robbed the 7 11 was fresh out of jail, broke, homeless and on the verge of ending his own life before he decided to take a chance if it might mean getting high instead of dying, then you don’t have any place judging him until your ass is exactly where his was when he did it, you know what I’m sayin’?

What Goes Up Must Come Down

Never coming down will mean never getting as high as you’d like.

If you want to get fucked up, you need to take breaks.

Let me repeat myself: actually getting high requires some time in between where you are not high.

It’s just the way things work. It’s a motherfucker, and it’s name is Tolerance.

You don’t want to get too close to it, because it will take away that high and replace it with a dull “normal” feeling which should feel anything but normal.

If that’s the case, you’re doing too much too often.

Slow down.

Enjoy life.

Take breaks, the longer the better.

But if you have no self-discipline like me, then even a couple of days can do wonders.

Take however long you can.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Unless you’re planning on getting serious about quitting, the best and easiest way to go without for shorter periods of time (for whatever reasons you have for wanting or needing to do so) is to make sure that all things drug related are “out of sight, out of mind.”

It’s true.

That’s why they try and keep outside media that might trigger cravings away from you while you’re in treatment centers for drug addiction.

Because if you’re trying not to get high for a while, you’ll have a much higher success rate if you stay away from all things which make you think of getting high.

Do your best to stay away from any drug buddies during this time, unless they are staying away too.

Don’t expect to be very successful in that case, however.

Just go into it telling yourself it’s not an option and won’t be available, and with any sort of luck you’ll convince yourself and chill out about it for a while.

Best of luck.

Addiction Isn’t Cheap

If you want to get high everyday, you’ll have to figure out how to support an addiction as expensive as that.

Anything from bank robber to loser mooching off codependent significant other will suffice.

For me, the answer to this one was getting into escorting.

That worked out beautifully for me, and it would have been a perfect fit with or without the drugs involved.

While I’ve heard that many girls feel differently and would not escort if they were not using, I found myself very well conditioned to this type of thing.

However, sex work is not a viable option for everyone nor is it viable in the long run for most people.

So you’ll have to figure out what works best for you.

If you want my advice, your best bet is to put monumental effort into keeping the job you have (if you have one) and do your best to “use within your means.”

In other words, don’t buy or do more drugs than you can afford with the amount of money you already make.

While this may result in desperate attempts to sell your old clothes, used CDS or anything else that you suddenly feel you can live without, you should really avoid letting it put you in serious debt or overspending when you can’t afford to.

If you can pull this off, it will work nicely with #5 on this list, since it will require those breaks during the times when you’re broke (which will be pretty much all the time, since you’ll spend any extra cash on a bag as soon as you get it).

While taking breaks out of necessity certainly sucks at the time, it does help you to hold onto the things in life that really do matter most and which are easy to lose sight of when you live in a constant mental haze.

Pretend You’re a “Social” User

At least in the beginning, don’t get high and then hang out alone at home

Keep it as social as possible, or at least find a “slamming” buddy so that you have another person to talk to, other than yourself.

This will also help you from developing various forms of drug-induced psychosis, which may include hallucinations and full blown delusions.

Not everyone is the same when it comes to this, some of us are more “psychologically” fit than others.

But speaking from experience, even a mentally sound person can get pretty out there when their brain is under the influence of some rather harsh chemicals for prolonged periods of time, without any sleep on top of it.

It’s pretty easy to lose your grip on things, and in my own experience it was waay easier to do when you spent lots of time isolated and high as a fucking kite.

I hallucinated far more often and it scared me a lot more when I was alone in my house, than when I hung out with my friends and got high.

I have also known a couple of good friends who got much worse than I did in the beginning, when you’re really fucked up and have no tolerance built up yet.

In fact, a little bit of tolerance is actually a good thing.

Otherwise, you’ll always look like a tweaked out fuck wherever you go and it will be noticeable.

Nobody wants that.

There is No Going Back

If your goal is to get high, stick with the needle if you’ve already crossed that line.

Smoking, snorting or eating dope will have no effect on you and you’ll be pissed off that you wasted it.

If you can’t find a vein to save your fucking life, still refrain from resorting to other forms of ingesting said substances, since attempting to use them as a replacement method will piss you off even more than you already are.

This is the same kind of frustration you will experience if you have been up for four days straight and you do your last hit of dope, then immediately pass out for twelve hours and wake up with nothing.

Should’ve saved that for when you woke up, dumb ass! 😉

Go Beneath The Surface

Stay away from surface veins, like the ones on the top of your feet.

They will oftentimes burst upon being poked, or some of the slightly stronger ones will wait to do this until you attempt to inject something into them.

Go for the deeper, thicker and stronger ones.

Watch Out For Abnormally Bright Red Blood

When flagging, proceed with great caution if your blood appears to be a bright orange/fire red that is significantly lighter in color than what you’re used to seeing.

This is oftentimes indicative of having found an artery, rather than a vein.

I suggest trying to inject the tiniest drop and then stopping, to find out which type of blood vessel you’re in.

That’s all it should take.

Best possible outcome?

Everything seems fine, so you slowly try a couple drops more before stopping to make sure once more before slamming the rest of it in and being good to go.

Next best possible outcome?

That drop almost immediately explodes into a fiery fucking pain that I cannot describe in words, and shoots all the way through your entire leg, accompanied by a sharp unpleasant tingling that really does compliment the outrageous burning pain quite nicely.

Worst possible outcome?

You don’t notice the difference in the color of blood (bad lighting, or whatever else) and you begin slamming it in like you would normally, and you don’t realize until 30-40 ccs that you weren’t in a vein, and the pain is tenfold…and, you don’t get high either.

Beware of arteries!

9 Things You Should Know Before Using Crystal Meth

Drugs don’t really fix anything2,

I’ve used a lot of crystal meth in the past 10+ years. I’ve also learned a lot about what it means to be an addict. Here are nine things you should know before you try or use crystal meth.

#1: Don’t Trust Addicts

99% of all addicts are liars and thieves.

This might sound unfair and even close-minded, but it’s the truth.

There are some exceptions to the rules, but they are incredibly rare.

Most people are no match for their addictions.

They will be driven to do things they would normally never have considered all in the name of getting high.

Sad, but true.

So if you’re thinking of trying drugs, keep in mind that all the people you will be dealing with are likely to steal from you and lie to you at your own expense.

#2: Once is More Than Enough

Don’t kid yourself by saying that one time can’t make you addicted.

It can.

I believed it couldn’t too when I first tried meth.

I was so, so wrong.

The worst part about it is that you won’t realize what has happened immediately afterwards.

Addiction is a gradual process and it doesn’t happen overnight.

But trust me when I tell you that one time is all that it takes to set this into motion.

It can and it will.

#3: You Are Easy Prey

Expect to get ripped off.

Everyone who is new to the game does, usually more than once.

When you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, addicts will spot you a mile away and will take full advantage of you.

When you lack the connections, you are pretty much at the mercy of these middle men.

And they show little to none at all.

Since you will be desperate and have no other means to obtain your high, you’ll fall victim to one of these assholes without a doubt.

Hate to say it, but…you’re burnt.

#4: Never Let go of The Dough

Learn to never let the money go, period.

When you are buying from someone new or an old hookup, you never under any circumstances let them run with the money.

I don’t care if they say they have to pick it up from a friend and they won’t let people they don’t know come with.

Don’t listen to anything they try to sell you on.

Bottom line is you don’t hand over the cash until they have the bag in hand and are ready to hand it over to you.

Don’t back down on this one and you’ll minimize the risk of getting ripped off more than is necessary.

#5: Sharing is Expected

Plan on kicking down your hookups.

Whoever the middle man is, you will be expected to share some of what you buy with him in order to get him high.

That’s why he is helping you out.

It’s not because you’re buddies and it’s not because he is going to pocket the cash you use to pay for it.

It’s because he wants to get high too and he has the connection that you lack.

So be prepared to share, it’s an unwritten rule and addicts will not take kindly at all to you if you refuse to kick them down.

#6: “Tweaker Time”

Learn to accept that your sense of time will begin to wither away and will eventually be more or less lost.

Full days without sleep start to blur into one another and weeks with nothing important to do and nowhere to be quickly turn into a fuzzy endlessness.

The day of the week will not matter to you.

What month it happens to be will mostly be useless information.

#7: Get Ready to Compromise

I can pretty much guarantee that you will at some point find yourself doing something that at one point you swore you’d never do.

You’ll do it for the sake of getting high, either directly or indirectly.

Trust me.

It will happen.

You might think you know yourself better than anyone, but you have yet to become acquainted with your addiction.

It will introduce itself in ways that you never thought were possible.

#8: More Hospital Visits

There will be some hospital visits in your future.

It’s pretty much inevitable.

Addicts are prone to a nice variety of medical complications, ranging from minor to serious and even life threatening.

Sure, an abscess probably isn’t gonna kill you.

But the staph infection that is probably causing it certainly can and very well might if you don’t seek medical attention, which addicts are well known for avoiding.

#9: Spawning Bad Habits

Get comfortable living in your own filth.

This might not be the case right away.

But over time, the drugs will cause you to start letting yourself go and your surroundings will reflect this change.

I hope you’re zen with the thought of grime and decay, because that’s a large part of the future you have to look forward to.

Real Faces of Meth

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The Faces of Meth project was not an “honest” portrayal of the average methamphetamine addict, I hate to break it to you.

In fact, I have NEVER seen a single addict that looked as awful as the mugshots featured in the project in all the years I’ve used.

The closest I’ve come was my own mother, who went downhill pretty fast over a period of a couple years.

Mostly because she let herself go and had a constant staph infection pretty much everywhere, which was gross.

However, she is the exception and not the norm.

I’ve known a LOT of meth addicts, so I’m qualified to make statements about the blatant disparity between reality and the mugshots in the Faces of Meth project.

Also important to note is the fact that some people simply age more gracefully than others.

And while using drugs is one of many lifestyle choices which may or may not accelerate the aging process, the people in the mugshots could have just as well ended up looking that way if they hadn’t been meth users too.

The Montana Meth Project

Another (even more outrageous) example of over the top and exaggerated portrayals of meth addicts is the Montana Meth Project.

The “people” depicted in their outlandish ads have clearly undergone some Halloween-style Photoshop modifications.

Honestly, they look like posters for a zombie film more than anything in real fucking life.

It’s laughable.

Well, it would be if shit like this wasn’t as damaging to society as it is.

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This ad is my personal favorite because of how it practically says “Fuck you, we think you are all dumb fuck retards,” to everyone unfortunate enough to view it.

I can assure you that “15 bucks for sex” isn’t fucking normal on or off any drug on the planet, even if you look as nasty as the bitch pictured in this offensive piece of drug propaganda.define propaganda Google Search

On the contrary, on meth the price for sex and the compensation for those selling it only increases.

Trust me, I would know.

Ten Years of Daily Meth Use

I started using fairly regularly around the age of 17 and haven’t slowed down much, if at all, since then.

I turned 28 in October of 2015, so I have over a decade of daily meth use under my belt.

Here is what that actually looks like, and I apologize in advance for the lack of sensationalism which you’d come to expect after being shown the previous two examples.

 Actual Faces of Meth

As you will notice, I mostly just get fatter slowly over time LOL.

Click any of the thumbnails to view the full-size image.

Meth Isn’t Actually The Problem

Despite what the United States government and the media would have you believe, it’s not the drug that causes the actual problems.

I firmly believe that people use it as both an excuse and a scapegoat for the hideous and selfish choices that some people make.

Because isn’t it easier to blame a drug than to take accountability for your actions or to think that other human beings could have such total disregard for how they treat others?

I think the answer to that is obviously yes.

No one wants to think that some people are just wastes of flesh, sucking up air for no good reason and certainly we don’t like the thought of a person being born completely evil right from the start.

But it doesn’t change the facts or reality.

We need to face that and stop this propaganda war against a drug that is no more responsible for a user’s actions than a gun is for a mass murdering spree.

Meth Won’t Kill You Either

It’s pretty obvious from the flagrant ad from Montana Meth Project seen below that the government and media REALLY wants you to believe that drugs are horrible for your health and will very probably send you to an early grave.

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Which begs the question, WHY do they want you to believe that so strongly?!

If you think that all the money being spent on these anti-drug campaigns is done with your best interest in mind, you’re sadly mistaken.

To help answer this question, Dr. Carl Hart of Columbia University has an excellent blog post explaining why we are not getting the truth when it comes to illegal substances.