Ask Me Anything About Love and Sex

 

I recently discovered this interesting site with what appears to be truth or dare style questions to use in a group, or as writing prompts (which is what I did, since I have no real life friends).

Prepare to learn a lot more about me than you probably bargained for, LOL!

Warning: the following content is of an explicit nature.

Almost.

I am not sure that I’ve ever fallen in love at the first sight of someone, but it certainly tends to happen rather fast. I’d say in the span of a single night has been fairly common, if the interactions are right.

Unfortunately, love is deeper than what the eye finds appealing. So no, I don’t really believe you can fall into true love the first time you lay eyes on a person.

 

This answer is obviously based only on my own experiences, so your mileage may vary.

I prefer threesomes with someone I am familiar with and another guy who I’m less close to and don’t know as well.

Or two total strangers, that’s good too.

Basically, as long as there are multiple dicks involved and I’m the only female to keep them busy, I’m pretty much happy.

 

The answer to this is overly complicated.

Originally, I would have said no. I’m not the type of person who puts weight into traditions or ceremonies, quite honestly.

What matters to me is the relationship I have with someone and marriage really doesn’t add any strength to that by itself.

Then I dated Kevin for on and off for a few years beginning around the time I had just turned eighteen.

I suppose he was my first real romance of a grown-up kind.

He asked me to marry him. I said yes.

He asked me again later. I said yes again.

It never happened.

Clearly, he had some serious issues or just didn’t take marriage proposals very seriously I guess.

In either case, being young and stupid I decided it must mean something was wrong with me. I was somehow not good enough to marry, though I couldn’t really figure out what I was lacking.

Today I know better. I know it was his thing and not mine.

But unfortunately, that was enough to convince me that whoever I ended up with after him was going to have to marry me.

Just to prove something.

Just to confirm that I was good enough to marry.

Wouldn’t it figure that I ended up marrying the biggest jackass on the entire planet. I can’t stand him. I don’t even view him as human, that’s how bad it is.

I guess that serves me right for allowing my own belief system to be dictated by some retarded ass complex I picked up from an ex.

Needless to say, I’m separated from my “husband,” not that we ever really lived together or anything.

I would never get married again, let’s leave it at that.

 

In the back of a church parking lot.

I was on a long road trip and ran into snow on the freeway, so I had to pull over in Ashland, OR and stay put for a few.

It was late and nothing was fucking open and I had to pee and change my tampon.

I imagine God, if he exists, has forgiven me.

 

I used to grab my husband’s crotch as we walked down the street in broad daylight, just to see him blush and get all flustered.

Hopefully that answers the question.

 

I know I am in love when my thoughts throughout the day are all centered around a certain person and everything I get excited about is something I want them to be a part of, hopefully.

I know I am in love when someone’s happiness and well being becomes more important to me than my own.

 

Oh, a few likely candidates might be:

1) Gangbangs
2) Deepthroat, face fucking
3) Fucking machines
4) Fisting

 

My wildest sexual fantasy is probably either the one in which I get dropped into a prison yard full of sex-starved criminals who proceed to run a train on me or the one where I get pulled over by a hot cop and he radios over to a few of his buddies on duty and they all gangbang me instead of writing me a ticket.

My Rat Terrier Chihuahua Named Bub

Bub as a puppy in 2007

There he was in a newspaper ad right in front of my eyes.

I just didn’t know it yet.

It simply read: “black Chihuahua puppies for sale” and listed a phone number, which I was quick to dial.

Two rings later and a woman’s voice answered on the other end.

“They are actually half Chihuahua and half Rat Terrier,” she explained to me.

“I have no idea what that would look like…” I admitted, hoping she wasn’t trying to pull a bait and switch on me.

“They basically look like Chihuahua’s but they are a little bigger and sturdier,” she reassured me.

I liked that description.

The year was 2006 and Christmas was only about a week away.

I’d been looking for a dog for the past month or so leading up to this.

I made plans to drive out the following day to see the puppies.

A Sobering Visit to a Shelter

When I began to search for the first dog of my adult life, I thought the best option would be to adopt one from a shelter.

However, the sadness I felt after I visited one was suffocating and it left me with a broken spirit.

There were of course two or three puppies in the shelter.

Everyone who was there to look at dogs focused their energy on these lucky few, ignoring the rest of them.

I couldn’t stop myself from facing the reality of the situation head-on: these older dogs were going to die alone in this awful place with no one to love them or comfort them on their way out.

No one was going to take them home.

I wished more than anything that I could take every one of these ignored dogs with me.

But the truth was, I was in no real position to take even one of them.

I had no steady place to live at the time.

I was only eighteen and had been on my own for a year already, but had been staying with a boyfriend for several months.

Floating between this friend’s apartment and that one, couch surfing and spending more time in my car driving around than I did at any place I called “home.”

After leaving the shelter with that awful sense of helplessness, I was hit with a sobering realization: if I took an older dog that needed a home more than one of the puppies, I would have less time with it and it would die sooner.

That thought was so horrible to me that I decided right then and there that I was going to do the selfish thing and find a puppy who I could have in my life for as long as possible.

Growing Up With Dogs

My dog Jersey
Childhood dog named Jersey

Growing up, we always had dogs in the family and I had loved them all my life.

My first was a Chocolate lab that was a gift from me and my grandmother for my grandfather’s birthday when I was about three years old.

When my grandfather asked me what I wanted to name him, I replied with my favorite cartoon character at the time: “He-Man, King of the Universe!”

My grandfather laughed and said he liked it.

It stuck.

I said goodbye to He-Man when I was twelve years old and we had to have him put down.

It was one of the hardest days of my life, even at this point.

I remember wanting to be there with him in the room at the vet’s office when it happened because I didn’t want him to be alone, but when it came down to the time it was too much for me to bear.

I was glad my grandfather was there and stayed with him, I just wasn’t strong enough.

I loved him too much.

The loss carved out a chunk of my young heart that was buried in the yard of our old house with his ashes.

Thinking back on my memories of him still hurts even after all these years, but the memories themselves are tender and filled with light.

The second dog of my childhood was named Jersey, a tiny Dachshund with a feisty personality.

I loved her dearly and our time was cut short after about seven years, when my grandmother accidentally ran over her while pulling into the driveway back at home.

To make matters even worse, I was in the car when it happened.

The Best Christmas Gift

Fast forward a couple of years and I’m out in the real world on my own without the slightest inkling of how to do anything right or responsibly.

No anchor was heavy enough to keep me in any one place for long.

I decided that I was going to give myself a dog as a Christmas gift.

And so, the next day I drove out to the breeder’s house to meet the third dog of my life, whose name would eventually become Bub.

There were three puppies left, including him.

A girl and another boy.

They were turning eight weeks old on that day and they were so incredibly small that it almost scared me how precious and vulnerable they were.

They were sleeping when I arrived.

She showed me into the room and there were three of the tiniest black and white bundles of fur curled up like caterpillars on a blanket.

Two of them didn’t stir at all when I entered the room and began to fawn over them.

But the third one opened his eye to look at me and seemed keen on having an audience.

Sensing my presence and attention, he began to crawl on top of one of his sleeping brother and sister as I watched with delight.

Bub in 2010
Bub in 2010

He certainly stood out from the others.

He seemed to have more energy and he was also the chubbiest of the three, which I’d noticed right away when I saw them all sleeping there.

He had a splash of white on two of his paws and a strikingly intentional white streak of fur running up his chest, almost in a skunk’s pattern.

I had already decided before going that I wanted a male dog, and now I was pretty sure which of the two puppies it was going to be.

I remember thinking to myself, “Yep, I want the chubby, sassy one with all the attitude.”

I had no idea what I was getting into and I hardly realized at the time just how important Bub would become.

A Mother’s Love

rat terrier chihuahua
Bub and I on October 13th, 2015

That was almost nine years ago.

The white of his chest has now spread further out.

His eyebrows have mostly turned white and the fur around his nose and mouth is a distinguished salt and pepper.

Things weren’t easy for us at first.

I wasn’t prepared to take care of a dog or even myself.

But I did whatever I had to.

We lived in a motel for a few months, which was kind of miserable.

I’m in my late twenties now with no plans of having any kids.

Bub became my son every bit as much as any child would have.

I remember shortly after he came in to my life, I was talking with my mother one day and I said I would gladly jump in front of a bus to protect Bub if he was in danger.

I wouldn’t think twice about it.

She looked at me as if I were crazy and asked me the most disappointing question she could have thought to ask in response.

“Don’t you realize that your life is more important than his?

He’s just a dog.”

Clearly, she didn’t understand in the way I had hoped another mother would be able to.

To begin with, he is so much more than just a dog.

In the years since she asked me that, I think I can finally answer it correctly.

Today, I would say this to her:

You say you would die to protect me because I’m your baby.

He is mine.

You’re lucky though because as I grew older, I became capable of caring for myself and making sound judgments without your help.

I shed my vulnerability and along with it, my innocence.

Bub can’t do these things — but that’s okay.

He’s only more precious for these reasons.

It’s not about whether my son is human or canine or anything else that breathes and bleeds.

It’s about loving another living creature more than yourself.

You will do anything to protect them and keep them safe.

It’s an instinct.

Besides, I wrestle with knowing that he will probably die before I will.

No mother should have to bury her own children, as the old saying goes.

I’d rather die protecting him than watch him leave my life sooner than he has too.

What kind of mother wouldn’t feel the same?